Hunter S. Thompson's ashes were shot out of a cannon. Luke Perry was buried in a mushroom death suit. Aretha Franklin had three viewings with a different wardrobe for each and another outfit change for her burial. Elizabeth Taylor left instructions that she arrive late for her own funeral. If you want something unusual for your funeral, or you want to be sure you are not buried in a mushroom death suit, how do you go about it?
First, you can make your own arrangements. You can preplan your funeral, and you can prepay for your funeral. Both can be a relief to your family who will be grieving you. You can preplan your arrangements even if you do not prepay for them.
Regardless of your wishes, you need to consider how they will be paid for. Funerals are expensive, particularly if you have unusual requests. Many people assume a funeral will be paid for in a certain way, which does not always work out. I have seen many people name an individual as the beneficiary of their life insurance expecting those funds to be used for burial. However, if someone is named directly as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy, the money belongs to them, and they are not required to use it for the funeral.
I saw this for the first time as a young lawyer. My client knew she was dying of cancer. She was married to her second husband and had children from her first marriage. The whole family met and agreed to what the client wanted, including that she would name her husband as the beneficiary of her life insurance which he would use, in part, to pay for the funeral. After she died, he refused to pay for the funeral, and could not legally be forced to do so. My client's estate paid for the funeral, which came out of her children's share of the property.
Adding insult to injury in these situations, the person who is refusing to pay can still be in charge of the arrangements. So how can these problems be avoided?
If you have concerns about your family disagreeing about your funeral or refusing to follow your wishes, you can appoint someone to handle your affairs. Under the Illinois Disposition of Remains Act, you can appoint an agent to control your remains. The document can also leave binding instructions such as whether or not you want to be cremated. You can give your survivors the right to override your decision to be cremated if you wish.
Under Illinois law, the person(s) who controls your remains are, in order:
(1) the person you designate as agent;
(2) any person serving as executor of your estate and acting according to your written instructions contained in your will;
(3) your spouse;
(4) a majority of your adult children;
(5) your parents;
(6) your next of kin such as your siblings;
(6.5) any recognized religious, civic, community or fraternal organization willing to assume legal and financial responsibility;
(7) in the case of indigents or any other individuals whose final disposition is the responsibility of the state, a public administrator, medical examiner, coroner, state-appointed guardian or any other public official charged with arranging the final disposition of the decedent;
(8) in the case of individuals who have donated their bodies to science, or whose death occurred in a nursing home or other private institution and the institution is charged with making arrangements for the final disposition of the decedent, a representative of the institution; or
(9) any other person or organization that is willing to assume legal and financial responsibility.
Although this list is logical, it may be completely off-base in certain situations. If you are estranged from your spouse but not divorced, he or she would still be in charge. If you remarry later in life, you may want your children to be in charge of your funeral rather than your spouse. If you are estranged from a parent – or if you never even knew your parent – he or she would still have equal say with your other parent. Or, if the parent who raised you is deceased, the estranged parent could have complete control.
It's not necessarily the most pleasant thing to do, but making plans for your burial and who will be in charge of it can be a great gift to your loved ones, and, if it matters to you, even guarantee you get shot out of a cannon.
This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.